The Unmasking: Ted Cruz is Definitely the Zodiac Killer

The Internet is the international online truth machine, and no matter how much the government may try to cover up massive conspiracies, the internet manages to find the truth. People in positions of prominence and authority are the most likely to be involved in such schemes, and as a result, have their secrets uncovered by diligent internet citizens. As such, Ted Cruz, a junior senator from Texas and candidate for the Republican nomination has become the center of a particularly enthralling and convincing conspiracy. We will state it simply:

Ted Cruz is definitely the Zodiac Killer.

Most people know quite a bit about the Zodiac Killer, without ever uncovering who he was. He committed a series of killings in the Bay Area of California about forty years ago – resulting in up to three dozen killings – after which the killer, presumed to be Ted Cruz, sent letters to California including a coded message.